Mr. Kindlon and Mr. Thompson, where as I agree with you opinions of the article to a certain extent, I am not in complete agreement with your opinions. You both talk about boys in a manner that portrays all boys as being either the bully or the bullied. What you both have done was you spoke about boys who were either cruel bullies to other boys or about the boys were “sissies.” Although, it has been said that boys who bullies are often boys who were bullied, your article doesn’t even touch on this point. What you also didn’t talk about where the middle of the road boys. The boys who are popular, yet still are considered “nice guys.” You are making it sound as if there are either bullies or the bullied. Black and white without any grey in between the two. However, there is such thing as the “nice” guy. I believe this type of guy differs from the boys who are bullied they aren’t considered coward and is generally liked by their peers. In older boys, the definition of a nice guy is a male who is helpful, supportive, and does not instigate confrontations. Other traits of a nice guy are guys who show tenderness, empathy, compassion and shows emotional vulnerability. This is not acceptable to boys, but is very favorable to the girls. Boys who act like this aren’t considered masculine as boys who are masculine don’t portray these trait at least not on the outside which would make them a prime candidate to get picked on.
You also state that bullying starts at the time in a boy life when there is a “coming of age” incident and indicated that bullying starting started at about the age of ten. The name calling, physical aggression and pranks that tear down a victim doesn’t necessarily start as late as ten-years-old. Boys bullying boys could start much earlier than that. I did some research about younger boys and bullies/bullying and the information I gathered was intriguing. In actuality, from the research that I have done, there is evidence that boy bulling actually starts between the ages six and eight which would put the boys who bulling as early as the first grade. While there isn’t so much of the physiological bullying that goes on with the boys who are older, younger boys still do bully. Younger boys tend to be more aggressive physically with hitting, biting, and kicking. It is not until the boys are older and they are more mature socially and emotional that’s when the physiological bullying begins.
So, whereas I agree with your assessment of what a bully is and the social hierarchy that brings a boy to bully. I don’t agree with the age group that you have chosen for the bulling to begin; and I don’t agree with your assessment of the nice guy either. Your research, according to my research, is quite factual for the older boy. I am just confused as to why you did not not touch on the point of boys starting to bully at a younger age. Perhaps it is because the criteria that your article focused on were geared toward the older boy. However, I feel that you should have touch on all aspects of bullying from the youngest to the older boys.
“What you also didn’t talk about where the middle of the road boys. The boys who are popular, yet still are considered ‘nice guys.’ You are making it sound as if there are either bullies or the bullied. Black and white without any grey in between the two. However, there is such thing as the ‘nice’ guy. I believe this type of guy differs from the boys who are bullied they aren’t considered coward and is generally liked by their peers.”
ReplyDeleteYou don’t like the “black and white” world where boys are either bullied or bullies but you neglect the black and white definition and connotation of the word? Bullying in essence is about abuse. Aggression of that nature can be of three type: mental, verbal and physical. Nice guys don’t have to be the wossies, but they’re not exempt from someone verbally abusing them to cause emotional stress.
Your premise of “nice guy” is about being “good” and people are “good” in return. Someone is always emotionally harmful to someone, no one is always a saint and “nice.” Bullies in particular are often not necessarily mean to just the physically weak or unstable. They’re mean to everyone. Being bullied in ones life doesn’t necessarily mean that it was consistent or never ending, it just means they were bullied.